I have come to think that I am too much of an accommodating person. I have oftentimes found myself in a sort of no-choice-but-to-say-yes circumstances. I feel a compelling responsibility towards almost everyone and everything. While there is this consoling truth that we cannot please everybody, I still feel bad whenever I turn down a favor from someone.
This imprudent sense of duty or of obligation has put me in several compromising situations. It is becoming unhealthy - socially, emotionally, and physically. I could loose a collegial confidence, get frustrated or depressed, and burn out.
But how am I to overcome this, I have found an answer in the four words said to me by a good friend.
"Learn to say 'No'."
The point was brilliant. It was inspired by a Spanish priest-author (now a saint!) who wrote numerous books on improving one's character through imitating the life of Christ. (Don't get me wrong here, Christ never says no to those who need help.)
Saying 'No' sometimes is not a bad thing especially if I have more than enough on my lot. It would even allow me to focus my best on the things at hand. It is a sign of responsibility, prudence, and justice. People sometimes would not understand why I refuse but later on would appreciate the fact that I was just being honest with them. That should have saved them a pint of pain from disappointment, and me from a lot of trouble.
However, there will be times that I would succumb to ego and say 'Yes' to the affairs of other people, without considering the loads that still need to be done. I could just imagine what my friends thought after I accepted favors from them but failed to get those done because there were other concerns of my priority.(Sorry to my friends whom I've disappointed with my lack of prudence.)
Sure, there will always be times that one will be caught in a situation where it is difficult to say 'No'. Peer pressure, need for acceptance, and pride are some of the causes that put one in a position where he cannot do anything but sigh and say 'Yes'. They are all too superficial. The idea is people should not be afraid to say "No" to things that hinder priorities.
Not all requests are bad. It is a matter of setting-up my boundary and knowing my priorities in life. I don't have to say "Yes" all the time to the whims of my gratifications and pride, or to other people's requests in fear of their disappointments in me.
I don't want to be a drifter!
